i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
