Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
