Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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