Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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