I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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