the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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