I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.