you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
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He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
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Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?