i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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