no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
