Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
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YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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