i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The ass gains better be worth it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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