god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
