Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
