I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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