She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
