Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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