i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
organizing the empties. That sober.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.