The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.