Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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