Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
