Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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