Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize