i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She's the barista slut.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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