i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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