Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
send nudes
from the living room?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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