is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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