Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
