NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
