"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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