yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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