And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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