My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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