this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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