Can i not drive my cunt home
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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