im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
