hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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