My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
