why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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