He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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