The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
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I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
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You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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