i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
