So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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