She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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