Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize