Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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