i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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