what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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