there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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