arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
