Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
