I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
