I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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it was like having sex with a tree stump
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize