Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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