I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
