So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize