Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
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Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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