Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
