Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
