I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
